In an era characterized by rapid advancements, many parents find themselves grappling with the challenge of striking a balance between secular education and nurturing an Islamic upbringing for their children. With shifting societal dynamics, increased screen time, and changing cultural values, concerns have arisen regarding the upbringing of today’s youth. To shed light on this important topic, we sought the expertise of Humaira Salman, Director of Learners Resource Galaxy and a Relationship and Parenting Coach. Her insights on the concept of Tarbiyat (upbringing) and its key aspects provide valuable guidance for parents navigating this delicate path.
Humaira Salman emphasizes that a strong and meaningful connection with children forms the foundation for effective parenting. Prioritizing this connection before attempting to correct behavior allows parents to inspire and guide their children more effectively. By cultivating trust and instilling positive values, parents can foster a sense of mutual understanding and cooperation.
Rather than simply instructing children on right and wrong, Humaira suggests that parents should focus on inspiring them through their own actions. Living a life aligned with Islamic teachings and setting positive examples can have a profound impact on a child’s development. When children find inspiration in their parents’ conduct, they are more likely to adopt those values themselves, forging a solid moral compass for their future.
Humaira further highlights the critical role of parents as the primary teachers in a child’s life. However, she emphasizes that maintaining self-purification (Tazkiyah) is essential for becoming an effective teacher. Additionally, she encourages parents to help their children identify mentors (“Murabbi”) who can positively influence them in various aspects of life. By connecting their children with individuals who inspire and guide them, parents can expand their children’s horizons and contribute to their holistic growth.
In the pursuit of suitable mentors, Humaira urges parents not to limit their options. She believes that anyone who can establish a strong relationship with a child and possesses knowledge and expertise in a particular area can become a mentor. The key lies in inspiring the child and creating an environment where they willingly seek guidance.
The conversation with Humaira also addresses the loss of the rich heritage passed down by our ancestors, which placed great emphasis on values such as kindness, empathy, and respect. Humaira advises parents to reintroduce these values by incorporating stories from Islamic history into their children’s education. She asserts that religious and worldly education should be seamlessly integrated, allowing children to grow as both good Muslims and good individuals simultaneously.
Ultimately, Humaira reminds parents that the purpose of parenting extends beyond ensuring their children’s comfort and convenience. It is about raising responsible individuals who contribute meaningfully to society. Nurturing leadership qualities, teaching manners, and instilling a sense of responsibility from a young age are integral to achieving this goal. Finding a balance between secular education and Islamic upbringing is undoubtedly a pressing concern for parents in today’s rapidly evolving world. By focusing on building connections, inspiring children, and fostering appropriate mentorships, parents can effectively guide their children’s upbringing. Reintroducing the rich heritage of Islamic teachings and integrating them into children’s education can produce well-rounded individuals who positively impact society. Parenting, as Humaira asserts, is an ongoing journey of self-discovery and continuous learning, aimed at raising children who excel in their personal lives while making valuable contributions to the broader community.