In today’s world, marital problems seem to be pervasive, affecting individuals from all walks of life. Whether it’s disputes with in-laws, disagreements over parenting, or conflicts between spouses, the question arises: Why has the peace and happiness in married life seemingly disappeared? It’s crucial to address these issues and seek solutions. In this series, we will explore these challenges and attempt to find resolutions.
The Ripple Effect of Marital Discord
Imagine a group of 8-10 people casually discussing their life issues. If asked about the state of their married lives, the majority would admit that it’s far from ideal. The prevalence of marital unrest is a concern that extends across society’s various segments. The question is, why is peace so elusive in modern marriages, and why are these problems resonating everywhere?
The Foundational Relationship
Marriage is the first relationship created by Allah in this universe, serving as the cornerstone of society. It’s akin to a wall constructed with bricks, where each brick symbolizes a marital relationship. If one brick weakens, the entire wall is affected. Similarly, when a husband and wife’s relationship falters, its impact ripples through the entire society.
Allah, in Surah Ar-Rum, verse 21, designed this relationship to be a source of peace, filled with love and mercy. However, many marriages today seem devoid of these vital components. Why do we struggle to manifest the love and mercy that should permeate this sacred bond?
The Quranic Guidance
The Quran provides comprehensive guidance on various relationships, with particular emphasis on the relationship between husbands and wives. This focus reflects the pivotal role this bond plays in society’s harmony. To cultivate peace and mercy, couples must understand their responsibilities and diligently fulfill them.
Understanding Responsibilities
Understanding one’s role in a marriage is essential. Just as individuals in an organization have defined responsibilities, spouses must recognize their duties in the marital institution. For instance, a husband’s responsibilities include providing for his wife, fulfilling her needs, and treating her with kindness, as advised in the hadith.
Effective Communication
Open and respectful communication is vital. Misunderstandings often arise when spouses fail to listen to each other and address problems appropriately. It’s essential to choose the right time, tone, and approach when discussing issues. By doing so, couples can resolve conflicts and grow closer, rather than becoming more distant.
Long-Term Vision
Marriage is a lifelong commitment, not a short-term arrangement. Couples must cultivate a long-term vision, seeing beyond immediate disputes to build a lasting bond. Love and mercy should be practiced consistently, even when challenges arise.
Empathy in Action
Empathy is the glue that holds marriages together. When spouses listen to and understand each other’s perspectives, empathy flourishes, and love and mercy become tangible aspects of the relationship. Taking the time to genuinely comprehend each other’s feelings and concerns can resolve even the most significant conflicts.
Preventing Emotional Distancing
Without empathy, emotional distancing occurs, leading to spouses seeking solace in screens, such as smartphones or tablets, instead of each other’s company. This further exacerbates the gap in communication.
In striving for a harmonious and loving marriage, it is crucial to recognize and fulfill one’s responsibilities, practice empathy, and communicate openly and respectfully. By doing so, couples can restore peace and happiness to their marriage, fortifying the foundation of society and fulfilling the divine intent of this sacred bond.
As you reflect on these principles, remember to incorporate the prayer: “May Allah make our spouses and children the coolness of our eyes” into your daily routine, seeking divine guidance and blessings for your marital journey.